Buying clothes that fit now

I have a long history of buying clothes to motivate weight loss. For years I bought things hoping they would push me to change, on the idea that wanting to fit into them would help. That never worked for me. Getting dressed mostly came with guilt.

Those clothes did not feel like ordinary clothes. Every time I saw them, I was reminded of the gap between the body I had and the body I had promised myself.

This time I only needed to find pants that are comfortable right now, for the person standing in the store. It sounds simple. It took me a long time to shop that way.

I did not expect the relief. Walking out of the store with pants that actually fit felt better than I expected from a clothing purchase. These pants were not a goal for later. They fit the body I have now, and that made the rest of the day easier.

Clothes for the body I have now

I keep thinking about that. Somewhere along the way I decided that basic physical comfort was something I would earn once my body was smaller. Until then, the discomfort was supposed to be useful. Looking back, the only result was more discomfort.

I am done waiting. This is the body I have right now, and I buy clothes that fit it today. I do not know what size I will need the next time I go shopping. Whatever it turns out to be, I will buy that size too.